Sex Positive

Sex Positive: What Does it Really Mean?

I’ve been hearing a lot talk about people being sex positive. Even sex toy companies are embracing this ideology. But what does sex positive really mean?

Wikipedia defines sex positive as being “an ideology promoting and embracing sexuality.” The editor also states, “a sex positive attitude encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation.”

Are you sex positive? You may not be as open as you think.

Sex Positive

Negative Limits

We all have certain limits when it comes to having sex. For me, I won’t have sex someone without having an emotional bond and won’t have sex with someone new without using a condom. Other than that, I’m open to experimenting—within limits. But a lot of people have stricter limits with sexual experimentation.

Here are some examples of being sex negative:

  • No premarital sex.
  • Sex for making babies only.
  • Women shall not derive any sexual pleasure, i.e. orgasms.
  • Missionary position sex only.

Why such self-imposing limits on sex? First, our society is taught that sex is something “dirty.” The overall conservative attitude is sex is something performed between a man and wife, right? Veer too far from the path, and you’ll be instantly labeled a whore, slut, or heathen. And who wants that?

Liberals Have Issues Too

Don’t get me wrong. Liberals have their sexual hang-ups, too. For instance, polyamory and having open relationships is often frowned upon largely because it’s not understood.  Our society, once again, has taught us relationships should be monogamous. Although I’m not into engaging in an open relationship, I still don’t judge others for doing so. I guarantee if a vote came up for open marriages, not many people would be keen on the idea.

Open Your Mind

Sex PositivePart of the problem is some people truly believe they are sex positive! What I’ve noticed, however; is they are only sex positive when it’s convenient or if it works for their agenda. I do not believe sex positive should be used as a marketing ploy to sell sex toys, but rather, an avenue to having open and honest conversations about sex in general. All too often, we place ownership on our partners after the honeymoon has ended. Having an open mind to sexual experimentation can lead to being sex positive.

Ways of Being Sex Positive

Keeping the spirit of openness and exploration is the key to being sex positive. I don’t take sex too seriously and love trying new things. Nor do I set limits on my partner if he wants to try something different. Here are some ways you can become a more sex positive person.

  • Be open to trying new things.
  • Step outside your comfort zone.
  • See sex from the other person’s point-of-view.
  • Never stop exploring!
  • Stop judging other people’s choices.
  • Laugh when things go wrong.

Here’s Stoya’s take one being sex positive with a video called Pea Mousse. She has a great way of putting things into perspective.


Relax, it’s just sex—is my mantra. I know there are plenty of people out there judging me right now for being so shameless. And that’s okay because you are entitled to an opinion.  But today, I am encouraging anyone who is reading this blog to stop and dig deep. Saying and doing are two different things. The only way you be positive about anything is to never stop exploring. Really get to know what makes you feel good inside and out. And when you’re feeling positive about yourself, so will you begin being sex positive.